Unhealthy relationship communication styles has become imperative, especially if we’re going to salvage relationships headed for a crash. Almost always, when people discuss toxic relationships, they conjure up images of cruelty to one another, harsh actions, or insecurities. They ignore the most critical characteristic, though, which is unhealthy communication styles that have the capacity to relationships.
Your relationship’s health can be discerned from the way you communicate with your partner. Negative communication behaviors include minimizing what your spouse says, displaying disdain and inflicting verbal harm as a form of retaliation. Perhaps as you read the selection, you found yourself saying, “I’ve done that before” or “I recall doing it the other day and feeling horrible about it.” And now you’re concerned that perhaps your relationship suffers from poor communication and could be ruined. Just yet, don’t worry!
How do I Communicate Healthily in My Relationship?
It’s not immediately obvious that you have unhealthy communication problems just because you were a little impolite or said something hurtful three years ago. Humans occasionally lose control and get out of control. However, there is an issue when you realize that this behavior has become a pattern and that you are using it virtually daily. This can be the case because you lack emotional intelligence, which is thought to be the main driver of unhealthy communication in relationships. You may, however, work to get better at this.
Conversely, open communication involves trust, respect, kindness, and transparency. Words are equally as vital as deeds in expressing your love and adoration for the other person. You can connect with your partner more easily by employing constructive communication techniques.
Illustration of Unhealthy Communication in a Relationship
Here’s a scenario, on a Sunday Evening, you’re eager to spend time with your lover when work is over. When you return home, they are eating banana while relaxing on the couch. When you ask them if they’d like to see a movie or take a stroll, they reply that they don’t feel like it. You speak one or more of the following when you’re upset: “Nothing is ever done by us,” You can end up striking a wall, throwing a fit. If you say things like, “I despise you,” “You don’t care for me,” or “I’m sick and tired of you.”
These are all unhealthy communication styles. Because they are unaware of what is happening, you cannot influence your partner’s conduct. They are unaware of your busy day at work, how much this meant to you, and what you anticipate from them. They also are unaware of your hectic day at work.
Explaining to your partner why you want to go out, how you’re feeling, and offering a compromise instead of using cruel words, unfavorable body language, or making assumptions could do wonders and save you from an abusive marriage
Here Are Unhealthy Communication Styles That Can Ruin Your Relationships
Going on the Defensive
A typical bad relationship tendency is to become defensive every time your partner brings up a concern. The healthy method to answer when your partner expresses frustration with something is to acknowledge your fault and offer an apology as opposed to the unhealthy communication of blame-trading.
It can be simple to fall victim to the blame game, where you and your spouse engage in a back-and-forth exchange of accusations rather than cooperating and communicating to find a solution. Over-communicating in a relationship can be problematic even if the other person is at fault since it prevents you from reaching a resolution. It frequently makes things worse.
Not Involving your Partner
When you’re in a relationship, especially a long one, the boundaries between you and your spouse can get hazy. You might share your partner’s stories or place their drink orders at a pub. This may demonstrate how well you know someone, but it also hinders communication in a relationship because you don’t let your partner to speak for themselves. This might encourage you to stay stagnant and deny your partner the opportunity to develop or evolve.
This demonstrates that you don’t pause to think that perhaps your partner wants to try a different drink or share their story in their own way. This is a clear indication that you are abusively controlling your partner and ruining your relationship.
Use of Irritated language
It is common to become irritated, even over seemingly insignificant issues. But it’s not okay to vent on your partner. Your anger may be triggered by a variety of factors; therefore, it would be unfair to your spouse to direct it solely towards them.
The expressions “You’re always sorry” or “You always do same thing” are examples of frustrated speech, this manner of communication could ruin your relationship When you use the words “always” and “never,” your spouse may not actually be intentionally hurting you. When it’s not true, this kind of language can also cause you to internalize the idea that your partner is the main source of all your issues.
Using your Lover as a Prop
Gaslighting is an unhealthy communication and should be avoided at all costs since it may soon become toxic. When you manipulate someone’s perception of reality, you are gaslighting them. If your partner accuses you of exercising excessive control over their behavior. Are you certain that I’m controlling? you ask in response. I am merely guiding you toward wise choices.
You are gaslighting them into believing you are not a toxic partner, when you are by saying, “That implies I care about you.” The greatest method to stop unhealthy communication patterns is to give a subject some serious thought, then ask your partner to come up with a solution. The best way to help your spouse is to be aware of their feelings and allow them to speak freely, even though it might be challenging to recognize gaslighting behavior.
Inappropriate Body Language
Nonverbal communication is crucial in relationships because it reveals how someone thinks about you. You’re simply giving your partner the impression that you don’t want to be with them if you use unfavorable body language like eye rolls, move away from them physically, and avoid physical closeness.
Overly Criticizing your Partner
It’s natural to want your partner to be ideal when you’re dating someone, and it can be challenging to remember that it’s just not possible because they are also human. By consistently condemning them for their appearance or another factor they have no control over, you just serve to lower their sense of value.
An indication of unhealthy communication in a relationship is talking to your partner about a problem that has no solution and will only harm your connection. Instead of accomplishing anything, this unhealthy communication style lowers your partner’s comfort level and sense of value.
Putting your Lover under Pressure
One of the most pervasive unhealthy communication styles is steamrolling. Not allowing your partner to speak freely will simply undermine trust and prevent further dialogue. It’s a sign of narcissistic conduct and results in recurrent episodes of wrath and melancholy. It could range from talking over your partner, changing the subject suddenly, and using defensive communication when they raise a concern before letting them finish.
Your relationships and communication patterns become a crutch if you stop all forms of communication with your partner without providing any context. One of the most typical characteristics of toxic relationships is abruptly terminating all texts and calls and refusing to speak to them.
By making your spouse realize why you’re putting distance between yourself and them and altering your harmful communication patterns, you can distinguish between healthy and unhealthy communication.
It is critical to communicate your emotions and issues to your partner in detail; doing so will make it easier for them to relate to you and see things from your perspective. Keep in mind that your partner does not possess telepathy; if you spend too much time alone and fail to communicate, it may result in unfavorable communication patterns.
Not Moving Outside of Your Comfort Zone
Some topics are never discussed in discussion with your partner. In a vulnerable time, they might have disclosed a past trauma to you, or they might have revealed something embarrassing about themselves.
Sharing this kind of information demonstrates your partner’s trust in you; however, overstepping your bounds and bringing it up again, using this knowledge to call them out or using them as a form of blackmail may be extremely traumatic and could ruin a relationship.
Summary on Dealing With Unhealthy Relationship Communication Styles
In conclusion, the greatest strategy to ensure that your relationship does not suffer from unhealthy communication styles is to understand what toxic communication is and constantly work to avoid it.
Therapists emphasize that toxic communication can result in the breakdown of a relationship and ill will. Therefore, recognizing those unhealthy communication styles early and altering them can help save your relationship.
For a recap, here’s a list of unhealthy communication styles that ruin relationships:
1. Going on the defensive
2. Not Involving your Partner
3. Use of irritated language
4. Using your Lover as a Prop
5. Inappropriate Body Language
6. Overly Criticizing your Partner
7. Putting your Lover under Pressure
8. Abrupt Braking
9. Avoid assumptions
10. Not moving outside of your comfort zone